Don’t you think I know that?

Don’t pretend it’s so easy to clean up. It’s not and I ought to know. No, you haven’t heard MY story before. You see, I feel I wasn’t meant to live in a clean house. And anyway, if I clean it up, it’ll just get messy again and then I’ll feel way worse. The mess is so bad, it can never be cleaned up. And besides, everyone in my family lives in a mess. And the mess I grew up in, it means I can never live otherwise, it’s my nature and I have no control over that. The other pressures in my life are real and I can’t take time away from worrying about them to spend any time cleaning up my house. And besides, what difference would it make? I’ve always lived this way. I’ve resisted every order by my mother, my aunt, my ex-husband to change. I’ve resisted every well-meaning suggestion because I ought to know they won’t work because I won’t work ’em. Don’t you think I know that?

Dorothea Goggins

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